It is me, Claude. . .

A French mouse with something to say

I find my long lost Auntie Vivi

Bonjours mes amis!

Eeeeek! I am sooo excited that I have found ma tante—Auntie Vivi—who has posteed advice right here!

Auntie Vivi eez a very beautiful and sophisteecated lady indeed and I am so proud of her. Of course, I am sure you realize she is my adopted Auntie.  As you can zee, she has not one millimeter of beautiful long whiskers or tail like mine!

Anyway, I hope you eenjoy very much ma tante Vivi.

Ma tante Vivi!

Ma tante Vivi!

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Fan Mail from Qod

It is me, Claude.

It is me, Claude.

Bonjour Mes Amis!  Eet eez me, Claude Mouse, and I have received la surprise la plus merveilleuse. Eet eez a letter from a fan! Eemagine that? Il est étonnant—amazing eez your Eenglish word! I am honored and besides, theez guy eez très comique! I hope you enjoy reading eet.

Dear Claude,

I’m quite a fan of yours so I thought I’d write you a letter instead of just commenting on your blog.

My name is Jones, Qodfish Jones. You probably wonder why I don’t spell my name with a “C.” We’ve always spelled it with a “Q” since I was a young fry. My mother has always been a bit bohemian. You know the type—wears psychadelic scales that glow in a black light—doesn’t believe in  blindly following the current school of thought. Hahahaha! Get it? Current? Mom would rather do almost anything that is different from what everyone else is doing. So when she hatched me, she named me Qodfish, which is pronounced just like the regular “codfish.”

Little did she know that the “Qods” are the Revolutionary Guard of the Ayattolah Khomeini! Boy has that gotten me into the proverbial hot water at times! But we’re just fish living in the icy depths of the north Atlantic near Norway so you can’t blame Mom. She was just trying to be creative. (Sometimes I wonder if calling me “Qodfish” wasn’t just coincidental because of her Scandinavian accent.)

This is a self-portrait.

This is my self-portrait. I call it, “OMQ!” and use it for my facebook profile. As you can see, I’m growing a goatee. Hey I’m a poet and don’t know it!

Obviously we are a family of cod. But when you’re a little fishy and your name is “Qod,” some people get very confused and they try their damndest to come up with a creative pronunciation instead of the usual. So a lot of fry in my school started pronouncing it “god” with a hard “g.” That sort of stuck and the connotation stuck with me too and my name gave me some kind of authority and power with those guys. So my nickname became “Qod” pronounced “god.”

Geesh! Some people. Not that I minded really. Being called “Qod” has it’s advantages let me tell you! Anyway, that’s my name and maybe someday soon I’ll tell you some funny stories about that.

Your friend,

Qodfish Jones

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Daily Prompt: The Clock

Bonjour mes amis!  Today’s Daily Prompt looked like a lot of fun so I took up zee challenge: Write about anything you’d like. Somewhere in your post, include the sentence, “I heard the car door slam, and immediately looked at the clock.” 

I decided to share une histoire about mon amie, Ernie.

It is me, Claude.

It is me, Claude.

~~~

Ernie’s Story

I really don’t mind my job at all except that some days there’s really not a lot happening and I get pretty bored. Of course, being a professional at what I do, I am always able to find something to keep me busy. The trick for me is to find something intriguing!

Like last week, they were working on the outside of the building and since my job is security, I had plenty to do watching to make sure my area was secured and checking out who was coming around and making sure they were doing only what they were supposed to do.

There was this one guy I really did not like the looks of. The whole time he was there I just couldn’t shake the feeling that he was up to no good. I had that dude in my sight for hours and never took my eyes off him! One wrong move and I was ready to jump into Solo Swat Team mode! It was actually exhilarating.

That’s the thing about security and surveillance. If you’re on-the-job, you really can’t go do other things and still be watching closely. You just have to continue watching even though most of the time there is nothing happening at all.

You might think that could lead to a lot of daydreaming and playing Angry Birds Star Wars or Drop 7 on your iPhone and stuff like that. But first of all I’m not into electronic devices and games and second, I’m a pretty simple guy you might say. I’m a realist and I don’t daydream, I’m not much on imagining things, I see what I see in front of me and that is all.

This job is perfect for me. I guess you could say I’m fairly serious when I’m at work, but no one’s ever fired me and I’ve never let anyone or anything get out of hand here. Works for me and my boss.

When I”m not handling any situations, I make my rounds through the place, checking out all the rooms, doors, windows. I can know most anything going on just by hearing it which is usually my first clue that I need to go into action.

And that’s what happened today in fact. It was just about the end of my shift and I was really looking forward to being done, maybe go out for a while and try to catch the last of the daylight with a run in the park.

I was definitely distracted with thinking about that. It’s the one thing I’ve never been able to overcome and damned if it doesn’t happen every single day! Excuse my French. It’s the same darn sound that I hear about this same time and I have never been able to keep my cool. I just lose it!

I was wondering what I’ll have for dinner when it happened. I heard the car door slam, and immediately looked at the clock. I have no idea what that clock says, but I look at it and the next thing you know–I’m not on top of my game anymore. I’m in an absolute, uncontrolled frenzy! It happens so fast that I don’t even have time to be embarrassed at my behavior and I don’t care either!

“Hi Ernie!” The door to the place opens. “Ready to go out?”

It’s the boss and man, am I glad to see him! We went out to the park and I didn’t even have to wear my leash. That’s how it always turns out and that’s good enough for me!

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Henri 2, Paw de Deux – YouTube

Henri 2, Paw de Deux – YouTube.

via Henri 2, Paw de Deux – YouTube.

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And this year’s Lifetime Achievement Kitchen Inspiration Award goes to . . .

S Q U E A K!!!!! Theez eez zee most exciting thing that has ever happened to me! I got theez amazing award for my work that I do! I hope you like to read about eet.

mycookinglifebypatty

Claude is looking a little down in the mouth lately.  And who could blame him?  He’s been hanging around in my kitchen for at least twenty years.  Here I am going on and on in my blog about all the people and things that inspire me and how I am the big-time cooking expert and I never once even mentioned Claude.

Before I introduce you to Claude, believe me when I say I am dead serious about the important place he has in my cooking life.  A day without Claude would be like a day without a stove to cook on or a spoon to taste with.  I would be a lost soul without Claude.

Claude is dedicated.  Who else do you know that expresses his love of food and cooking by wearing a sweater with a big orange carrot on it every single day?  He’s downright insouciant, that’s what he is!

Walt…

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Bonjour!

Bonjour!  Something very exciting is happening tomorrow and I can’t wait to tell!  A special announcement will be posted on www.mycookinglife.com.  I’m so excited I can hardly think of going to sleep tonight.  See you then!

Insouciantly yours,  Claude

Claude at home

 

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