It is me, Claude. . .

A French mouse with something to say

Fan Mail from Qod

It is me, Claude.

It is me, Claude.

Bonjour Mes Amis!  Eet eez me, Claude Mouse, and I have received la surprise la plus merveilleuse. Eet eez a letter from a fan! Eemagine that? Il est étonnant—amazing eez your Eenglish word! I am honored and besides, theez guy eez très comique! I hope you enjoy reading eet.

Dear Claude,

I’m quite a fan of yours so I thought I’d write you a letter instead of just commenting on your blog.

My name is Jones, Qodfish Jones. You probably wonder why I don’t spell my name with a “C.” We’ve always spelled it with a “Q” since I was a young fry. My mother has always been a bit bohemian. You know the type—wears psychadelic scales that glow in a black light—doesn’t believe in  blindly following the current school of thought. Hahahaha! Get it? Current? Mom would rather do almost anything that is different from what everyone else is doing. So when she hatched me, she named me Qodfish, which is pronounced just like the regular “codfish.”

Little did she know that the “Qods” are the Revolutionary Guard of the Ayattolah Khomeini! Boy has that gotten me into the proverbial hot water at times! But we’re just fish living in the icy depths of the north Atlantic near Norway so you can’t blame Mom. She was just trying to be creative. (Sometimes I wonder if calling me “Qodfish” wasn’t just coincidental because of her Scandinavian accent.)

This is a self-portrait.

This is my self-portrait. I call it, “OMQ!” and use it for my facebook profile. As you can see, I’m growing a goatee. Hey I’m a poet and don’t know it!

Obviously we are a family of cod. But when you’re a little fishy and your name is “Qod,” some people get very confused and they try their damndest to come up with a creative pronunciation instead of the usual. So a lot of fry in my school started pronouncing it “god” with a hard “g.” That sort of stuck and the connotation stuck with me too and my name gave me some kind of authority and power with those guys. So my nickname became “Qod” pronounced “god.”

Geesh! Some people. Not that I minded really. Being called “Qod” has it’s advantages let me tell you! Anyway, that’s my name and maybe someday soon I’ll tell you some funny stories about that.

Your friend,

Qodfish Jones

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